Things took a dark turn when I was perusing a Facebook group for sex pos women.
I have been the biggest Yoni crystal advocate since I discovered them at the Sexual Health Expo in the summer of 2016. I am not exaggerating. This isn’t like someone saying, “I was the premier Lorde fan before she wore a princess dress to the VMAs and lost her edge.”
When I say I was the biggest Yoni crystal advocate, I mean I really was. Like, arguably bigger than Gwyneth Paltrow. I broke the story on Yoni eggs.
I wore them in my snatch for a full month and wrote a feature about them. I went on to write another piece about their surprisingly feminist history. I was (and kind of still am, tbh) a living breathing Yoni addict. I was pushing these babies like I was being paid to do so. (Come to think of it, I should have made some money off of how hard I was pushing the Yoni. If anyone wants to send me money, I’ll take it.)
But, then I found that Yoni crystals can apparently put you at risk for toxic shock?!??! And I was like: WHAAAAAT?!?!!?!?
It’s true. This is what I heard. So, while I still love my Yoni crystals (if you want to know why, read my feature because they really did make my vagina so calm and strong), I feel it necessary to lay out these risks. It would be irresponsible not to, after all. You deserve the facts.
What is a Yoni egg?
A Yoni egg is a vagina crystal. Yes, that’s really what it is. It is a crystal, the shape and size of an egg, that you put up your hoo-ha. They are supposed to have healing and cleansing properties. Yoni means “sacred space, ” and while the eggs only go up your vagina, it probably refers to the whole female reproductive area.
You know, if you believe in crystal healing. If you don’t, you’re probably not going to want to shell out for a Yoni egg. I was into crystals before I found the Yoni, but I am a true-blue believer now. They’ve been used by high priestesses and empresses as a form of healing and a way to gain sexual vitality for the last 30,000 years.
Sorry, I’ll stop fangirling and get to the part that sucks.
Related: 6 Things You Should NEVER Put Inside A Vagina
I knew they had risks and I said as much.
Then things took a dark turn when I was perusing a Facebook group for sex pos women.
You see, I am not a doctor. I know, big surprise. I’m a self-taught (for now!) internet sex educator and a writer who likes ordaining her cooch with crystals. I knew that crystals, while seemingly hard AF, are porous. I said so when I originally wrote about them, “Some of these crystals may look hard and impenetrable, but the material could be porous, leading to cases of infections like BV or yeast infections.”
So, I was aware there were risks. I wasn’t sure how “risky” those risks really were. I am pretty prone to yeast infections and didn’t have a single problem with my crystals. I just boiled them (which I’m told you’re not supposed to do because it diminishes their power, but whatever) and washed them with antibacterial soap. I never had an issue.
Toxic shock?
I’m in that Facebook group when a blog post from Dr. Jen Gunter popped up. Dr. Gunter is a well-respected gynecologist, and so, I took heed. Her piece reamed out Gwyneth Paltrow (the first Yoni egg queen — though I debate this), saying that the crystals could very well put you at risk for TSS (among other things which made me turn red with embarrassment for loving Yoni eggs, but also LOL because Dr. Gunter is as hilarious as she is vicious).
“As for the recommendation that women sleep with a jade egg in their vaginas, I would like to point out that jade is porous which could allow bacteria to get inside and so the egg could act like a fomite. This is not good, in case you were wondering. It could be a risk factor for bacterial vaginosis or even the potentially deadly toxic shock syndrome,” Dr. Gunter writes.
This scared me. I have slept with my Yoni egg in my vagina. I didn’t recommend this to my readers, but I have said in interviews and when discussing my eggs with friends that you can wear them to bed.
I have also slept with a tampon inside me. Are they equally bad? I’ve never gotten TSS from either, but now I’m scared. (Sidenote: Whenever I wore a tampon, I always took it out within eight hours, because exceeding eight hours is when you’re at risk for TSS). Seriously, I need answers. Asking for myself.
Moral of the story, don’t sleep with your Yoni eggs inside your vagina. Keep in mind the risk factors for yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis that I’ve already mentioned. Since I found out about the TSS risk, I’ve only kept my Yoni eggs inside me for one hour at a time.
But, if you’re taking Dr. Gunter’s advice, you shouldn’t use them at all.
My favorite excerpt is: “The claim that they can balance hormones is, quite simply, biologically impossible. Pelvic floor exercises can help with incontinence and even give stronger orgasms for some women, but they cannot change hormones. As for female energy? I’m a gynecologist, and I don’t know what that is!? How does one test for it? Organically sourced, fair trade urine pH sticks coming soon to GOOP for $77 I presume?”
Clearly not a fan. That’s fine by me. I still love my Yoni crystals, but I hope this gave you, dear reader, some valuable information to take with you. Always be aware of what you’re putting inside your body. Your body is a temple, whether or not you want to put crystals in it.
